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How else can we speak like God?
Lovingly
That we henceforth be no more children, … but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things (Ep 4.14-15).
We’re inclined to speak in ways that benefit ourselves. We want to win the argument. We want to defend our choices. We want to tell a good story—better than the other guy’s—and be the center of attention.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a good story. Jesus told good stories. In fact the whole Bible is basically one really good story, augmented with insights from prophets and poets and letter-writers along the way that give greater depth to the central narrative. One of the great joys in life is to go to a family reunion and listen to the stories we all can tell.
But sometimes we just want to tell a better story than the one the other guy just told. “You think that’s cool? Well, once I …”
Why not just let the other guy enjoy the group’s response to his story? Why do we need to beat it?
We should speak in love. That means we should seek to add to the grace and peace, and joy, of the ones we’re speaking to, aiming at their growth rather than our advancement. Our goal should not be to promote ourselves, or to defend ourselves, or to otherwise advance ourselves.
A companion thought to this is the goal that we’re lovingly seeking in the other. Paul writes later in the same epistle,
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers (Ep 4.29).
We ought to speak edifyingly; we ought to speak in ways that build up the ones we’re speaking to. We ought to leave them better for having heard us speak.
We all have casual conversations, small talk. We all laugh at silly things together. Not every conversation needs to be serious or deep. But there ought to be times when we teach and encourage one another, when we “exhort one another to love and good works” (He 10.24). And there should never be times when our words tear someone down.
Does God speak lovingly? Does he build us up with his words? Well, we’re told, he is love. He speaks compassionately, encouragingly, with words of grace and hope.
Sure, sometimes he speaks hard words. But he does so in ways that he, the all-knowing one, knows will bring us out to a good end. Without his omniscience, we need to speak more—what’s the word? Carefully? Tentatively? Safely?
None of those words seem quite right. But one thing is sure: we need to speak more lovingly than we do. We need to edify one another.
Biblically
We’ve been in Ephesians for the previous point. In Paul’s sister epistle to Ephesians, he writes,
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (Co 3.16).
When we consider this verse, we typically focus on the musical part, the singing and the psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. And that’s what the verse is about. But I’d suggest that this is still a “speech code,” since singing is largely a melodic type of talking. And he begins the verse by sourcing our words in “the word of Christ.”
Some Christian sects believe they should sing only psalms, words that are directly biblical. I don’t see the Scripture as limiting our singing in that way, though I do see those sects, all else being equal, as my Christian brothers and sisters.
This passage does say, though, that our songs should be solidly biblical. We ought to remind one another of the word and exhort one another to believe and follow it.
I see no reason why that shouldn’t apply to our non-melodic (spoken) words as well.
And to talk that way, we need to have minds imbued with God’s words. We need to have read the Scripture, meditated on it, memorized it, and thought through applications, so that those applications flow naturally through our speech.
We can do better than we do.
There’s lots more. See you next time.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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